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1 <!DOCTYPE html> 2 <html lang="en"> 3 <head> 4 <link rel="stylesheet" href="/style.css" type="text/css"> 5 <meta charset="utf-8"> 6 <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> 7 <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0"> 8 <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css"> 9 <link rel="icon" href="data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns=%22http://www.w3.org/2000/svg%22 viewBox=%220 0 100 100%22><text y=%22.9em%22 font-size=%2290%22>🏕️</text></svg>"> 10 <title></title> 11 </head> 12 <body> 13 <div id="page-wrapper"> 14 <div id="header" role="banner"> 15 <header class="banner"> 16 <div id="banner-text"> 17 <span class="banner-title"><a href="/">beauhilton</a></span> 18 </div> 19 </header> 20 <nav> 21 <a href="/about">about</a> 22 <a href="/now">now</a> 23 <a href="/thanks">thanks</a> 24 <a href="/posts">posts</a> 25 <a href="https://notes.beauhilton.com">notes</a> 26 <a href="https://talks.beauhilton.com">talks</a> 27 <a href="https://git.beauhilton.com">git</a> 28 <a href="/contact">contact</a> 29 <a href="/atom.xml">rss</a> 30 </nav> 31 </div> 32 <main> 33 <h1> 34 2024-08-11 Sacrament meeting talk 35 </h1> 36 <h2> 37 Before the beginning 38 </h2> 39 <p> 40 A long, long time ago, potentially in a galaxy far, far away, but 41 maybe right here, who knows, two sons were discussing their plans for 42 the kingdom with their father. 43 </p> 44 <p> 45 One said, 46 </p> 47 <blockquote> 48 <p> 49 Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son and I will redeem all 50 mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; 51 wherefore give me thine honor. 52 </p> 53 </blockquote> 54 <p> 55 The other was much less verbose: 56 </p> 57 <blockquote> 58 <p> 59 Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever. 60 </p> 61 </blockquote> 62 <p> 63 (Moses 4: 1-2) 64 </p> 65 <h2> 66 The meridian of time 67 </h2> 68 <p> 69 Fast forward an indefinite amount of time. Things happened. The 70 second one came to earth to live. This was a big deal. 71 </p> 72 <p> 73 Of the night he came, much has been written. My favorite of these, a 74 poem written just a few hundred years after the fact, goes a little 75 something like this: 76 </p> 77 <h3> 78 On the Night of the Nativity 79 </h3> 80 <blockquote> 81 <p> 82 Pure is the present night, in which the Pure One appeared, Who came 83 to purify us.<br> 84 Let our hearing be pure, and the sight of our eyes chaste, and the 85 feeling of the heart holy, and the speech of the mouth sincere.<br> 86 The present night is the night of reconciliation; therefore, let no one 87 be wroth against his brother and offend him.<br> 88 This night gave peace to the whole world, and so, let no one 89 threaten.<br> 90 This is the night of the Most Meek One; let no one be cruel.<br> 91 This is the night of the Humble One; let no one be proud.<br> 92 Now is the day of joy; let us not take revenge for offenses.<br> 93 Now is the day of good will; let us not be harsh.<br> 94 On this day of tranquility, let us not become agitated by anger.<br> 95 Today God came unto sinners; let not the righteous exalt himself over 96 sinners.<br> 97 Today the Most Rich One became poor for our sake; let the rich man 98 invite the poor to his table.<br> 99 Today we received a gift which we did not ask for; let us bestow alms to 100 those who cry out to us and beg.<br> 101 The present day has opened the door of heaven to our prayers; let us 102 also open our door to those who ask of us forgiveness.<br> 103 Today the Godhead placed upon Himself the seal of humanity, and humanity 104 has been adorned with the seal of the Godhead. 105 </p> 106 </blockquote> 107 <p> 108 St. Ephraim the Syrian, CE 306-373 109 </p> 110 <h2> 111 Luke 18: 10-43 112 </h2> 113 <p> 114 The baby grew into a boy, then a man. 115 </p> 116 <p> 117 Sometime in his early 30s, he went around causing trouble. 118 </p> 119 <p> 120 Here are a few examples of the kinds of infuriating stories he told, 121 all taken from a continuous chunk of a book written a few years 122 back. 123 </p> 124 <p> 125 10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Sunday School 126 President in a medium-sized ward in Hendersonville (Pharisee), and the 127 other a tax collector (publican). 128 </p> 129 <p> 130 11 The Sunday School President (Pharisee) stood and prayed thus with 131 himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, 132 extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector 133 (publican). 134 </p> 135 <p> 136 12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. 137 </p> 138 <p> 139 13 And the tax collector (publican), standing afar off, would not 140 lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, 141 saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. 142 </p> 143 <p> 144 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than 145 the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he 146 that humbleth himself shall be exalted. 147 </p> 148 <p> 149 15 And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: 150 but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them. 151 </p> 152 <p> 153 16 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children 154 to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of 155 God. 156 </p> 157 <p> 158 17 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of 159 God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein. 160 </p> 161 <p> 162 18 And a certain Relief Society President (ruler) asked him, saying, 163 Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? 164 </p> 165 <p> 166 19 And Jesus said unto her (him), Why callest thou me good? none is 167 good, save one, that is, God. 168 </p> 169 <p> 170 20 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not 171 kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy 172 mother. 173 </p> 174 <p> 175 21 And she (he) said, All these have I kept from my youth up. 176 </p> 177 <p> 178 22 Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto her (him), Yet 179 lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the 180 poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me. 181 </p> 182 <p> 183 23 And when she (he) heard this, she (he) was very sorrowful: for she 184 (he) was very rich. 185 </p> 186 <p> 187 24 And when Jesus saw that she (he) was very sorrowful, he said, How 188 hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God! 189 </p> 190 <p> 191 25 For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye, than 192 for a rich woman (man) to enter into the kingdom of God. 193 </p> 194 <p> 195 26 And they that heard it said, Who then can be saved? 196 </p> 197 <p> 198 27 And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible 199 with God. 200 </p> 201 <p> 202 35 And it came to pass, that as he was come nigh unto Nashville 203 (Jericho), a certain blind man sat by the way side begging: 204 </p> 205 <p> 206 36 And hearing the multitude pass by, he asked what it meant. 207 </p> 208 <p> 209 37 And they told him, that Jesus of Nazareth passeth by. 210 </p> 211 <p> 212 38 And he cried, saying, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on 213 me. 214 </p> 215 <p> 216 39 And they which went before rebuked him, that he should hold his 217 peace: but he cried so much the more, Thou Son of David, have mercy on 218 me. 219 </p> 220 <p> 221 40 And Jesus stood, and commanded him to be brought unto him: and 222 when he was come near, he asked him, 223 </p> 224 <p> 225 41 Saying, What wilt thou that I shall do unto thee? And he said, 226 Lord, that I may receive my sight. 227 </p> 228 <p> 229 42 And Jesus said unto him, Receive thy sight: thy faith hath saved 230 thee. 231 </p> 232 <p> 233 43 And immediately he received his sight, and followed him, 234 glorifying God: and all the people, when they saw it, gave praise unto 235 God. 236 </p> 237 <p> 238 This is the same story over and over again, from slightly different 239 angles. Make the main character overtly righteous, or rich, or 240 pretentious (“Jesus - much too good for children”), or, on the other 241 hand, make the main character of a hated profession, or poor, or (in 242 other stories) a woman with a checkered past. A son with a grand plan 243 and proud of it, a son who just wants to be helpful. All the same, from 244 the beginning. 245 </p> 246 <p> 247 Shortly after telling these outrageous stories, and many others 248 besides, he was killed. That’s quite the story too. 249 </p> 250 <h2> 251 Abbot Moses in the desert 252 </h2> 253 <p> 254 A few hundred years later, not far from where he was buried and rose 255 again, a bunch of grumpy dudes moved to the desert. 256 </p> 257 <p> 258 One of them was named Moses and, much to his chagrin, the group of 259 grumps decided to make him one of the bishops (abbot). 260 </p> 261 <p> 262 Abbot Moses was asked to sit on a council to judge one of the monks 263 who had committed a fault. 264 </p> 265 <p> 266 “And taking with him a very old basket full of holes, he filled it 267 with sand, and carried it with him. He said ‘My sins are running out 268 behind me, and I do not see them, and today I come to judge the sins of 269 another!’” 270 </p> 271 <ul> 272 <li> 273 Merton, Wisdom of the Desert 274 </li> 275 </ul> 276 <h2> 277 1800-something 278 </h2> 279 <p> 280 Fast forward nearly one or two thousand years (who’s keeping track 281 anyway), and a fellow named Heber tells the following story: 282 </p> 283 <h2> 284 Heber J Grant and the devil 285 </h2> 286 <p> 287 Some years ago a prominent man was excommunicated from the Church. 288 He, years later, pleaded for baptism. President John Taylor referred the 289 question of his baptism to the apostles, stating in a letter that if 290 they unanimously consented to his baptism, he could be baptized, but 291 that if there was one dissenting vote, he should not be admitted into 292 the Church. As I remember the vote, it was five for baptism and seven 293 against. A year or so later the question came up again and it was eight 294 for baptism and four against. Later it came up again and it was ten for 295 baptism and two against. Finally all of the Council of the Apostles, 296 with the exception of your humble servant, consented that this man be 297 baptized and I was then next to the junior member of the quorum. 298 </p> 299 <p> 300 Later I was in the office of the president and he said: 301 </p> 302 <p> 303 “Heber, I understand that eleven of the apostles have consented to 304 the baptism of Brother So and So,” naming the man, “and that you alone 305 are standing out. How will you feel when you get on the other side and 306 you find that this man has pleaded for baptism and you find that you 307 have perhaps kept him out from entering in with those who have repented 308 of their sins and received some reward?” 309 </p> 310 <p> 311 I said, “President John Taylor, I can look the Lord squarely in the 312 eye, if he asks me that question, and tell him that I did that which I 313 thought was for the best good of the kingdom. … I can tell the Lord that 314 that man had disgraced this Church enough, and that I did not propose to 315 let any such a man come back into the Church.” 316 </p> 317 <p> 318 “Well,” said President Taylor, “my boy, that is all right, stay with 319 your convictions, stay right with them.” 320 </p> 321 <p> 322 … 323 </p> 324 <p> 325 I left the president’s office. I went home. … I was reading the 326 Doctrine and Covenants through for the third or fourth time 327 systematically, and I had my bookmark in it, but as I picked it up, 328 instead of opening where the bookmark was, it opened to: 329 </p> 330 <p> 331 “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is 332 required to forgive all men; but he that forgiveth not his brother 333 standeth condemned before the Lord.” [See D&C 64:9–10.] 334 </p> 335 <p> 336 And I closed the book and said: “If the devil applies for baptism, 337 and claims that he has repented, I will baptize him.” After lunch I 338 returned to the office of President Taylor and I said, “President 339 Taylor, I have had a change of heart. One hour ago I said, never while I 340 live, did I expect to ever consent that Brother So and So should be 341 baptized, but I have come to tell you he can be baptized, so far as I am 342 concerned.” 343 </p> 344 <p> 345 President Taylor had a habit, when he was particularly pleased, of 346 sitting up and laughing and shaking his whole body, and he laughed and 347 said, “My boy, the change is very sudden, very sudden. I want to ask you 348 a question. How did you feel when you left here an hour ago? Did you 349 feel like you wanted to hit that man right squarely between the eyes and 350 knock him down?” 351 </p> 352 <p> 353 I said, “That is just the way I felt.” 354 </p> 355 <p> 356 He said, “How do you feel now?” 357 </p> 358 <p> 359 “Well, to tell you the truth, President Taylor, I hope the Lord will 360 forgive the sinner.” 361 </p> 362 <p> 363 He said, “You feel happy, don’t you, in comparison. You had the 364 spirit of anger, you had the spirit of bitterness in your heart toward 365 that man, because of his sin and because of the disgrace he had brought 366 upon the Church. And now you have the spirit of forgiveness and you 367 really feel happy, don’t you?” 368 </p> 369 <p> 370 And I said, “Yes I do; I felt mean and hateful and now I feel 371 happy.” 372 </p> 373 <p> 374 And he said: “Do you know why I wrote that letter?” 375 </p> 376 <p> 377 I said: “No, sir.” 378 </p> 379 <p> 380 “Well I wrote it, just so you and some of the younger members of the 381 apostles would learn the lesson that forgiveness is in advance of 382 justice, where there is repentance, and that to have in your heart the 383 spirit of forgiveness and to eliminate from your hearts the spirit of 384 hatred and bitterness, brings peace and joy; that the gospel of Jesus 385 Christ brings joy, peace and happiness to every soul that lives it and 386 follows its teachings.” 387 </p> 388 <h2> 389 Wrap up 390 </h2> 391 <p> 392 I was asked to give a talk on what it means to have a broken heart 393 and a contrite spirit, in what ways we are asked to sacrifice, and what 394 I have consecrated to the Lord. 395 </p> 396 <p> 397 I’m not sure that I’ve consecrated nor sacrificed much. Camel am 398 I. 399 </p> 400 <p> 401 So, I figured I’d try to work out what the broken heart and contrite 402 spirit stuff is about. 403 </p> 404 <p> 405 The best I way I know how to do that is to try and define the 406 opposite - what’s the opposite of a broken heart? 407 </p> 408 <p> 409 It can’t be a merely intact heart, that’s not enough of an 410 opposite. 411 </p> 412 <p> 413 What about a hard heart? 414 </p> 415 <p> 416 “The opposite of a broken heart is a hard heart.” That seems like a 417 reasonable assertion. 418 </p> 419 <p> 420 Ok, then contrite spirit? What’s the opposite of that? 421 </p> 422 <p> 423 What the heck does contrite mean? 424 </p> 425 <p> 426 Con - that usually means “with.” With “trite”? Huh? 427 </p> 428 <p> 429 Turns out that trite, in this word, comes from Proto-Indo-European 430 “*tere-”, which means to crush, thresh, grind, that kind of thing. 431 </p> 432 <p> 433 So, to be “contrite” is to be ground down, worn out, crushed - and 434 the opposite of that? Built up, high and mighty, not just intact but 435 overly stacked. 436 </p> 437 <p> 438 A hard heart, and pride, are the opposite of a broken heart and 439 contrite spirit. That’s not hard to figure out, but I’m kinda dumb so it 440 took me a while to get there. 441 </p> 442 <p> 443 When I thought about the specific examples from the scriptures and 444 other great writings, about these characteristics and their opposites, 445 they are stories about superiority, missives about mollification. 446 </p> 447 <p> 448 In the beginning, God chose not the son with the grand plan and 449 eloquent speech, but the humble servant, willing to be molded into 450 whatever was needed. 451 </p> 452 <p> 453 Jesus’s anger wasn’t at the sinner, but at the proud - the Pharisee 454 who thought himself better than the publican, the ruler who identified 455 with his possessions, the disciples who thought children and blind 456 beggars unworthy of Jesus’ attention. 457 </p> 458 <p> 459 Abbot Moses kept his heart clean by letting the sins run out the 460 bottom. 461 </p> 462 <p> 463 Heber Grant’s heart was hard with judgment, yet the Lord softened his 464 heart with forgiveness, demolishing Heber’s own pride and an imagined 465 pride he was placing on the Church itself, and when his heart finally 466 broke he immediately felt freedom and love. 467 </p> 468 <p> 469 Brothers and sisters, I don’t think that a broken heart and contrite 470 spirit means we should be sad all the time, though going through sadness 471 and remorse is certainly part of what softens the heard and grinds down 472 the spirit and gets it ready. I think it means that we are malleable in 473 the Lord’s hands, seeing ourselves as the least of these, and therefore 474 above no task the Lord sets for us - whether that is letting go of our 475 own plans, our own things, or our own sense of righteousness. The task 476 he gives us might be forgiving someone, including ourselves - how often 477 is the impossibility of self-forgiveness a symptom of thinking we know 478 better than God, who can turn scarlet to wool and water to wine, or that 479 we are special in our ability to be worse than everyone around us? 480 </p> 481 <p> 482 These are not trivial - we might be tasked to forgive a monster 483 (which is different than remaining subject to their monstrosity), to go 484 somewhere we never wanted to go - including to the bishop’s office, to 485 the law, to rehab, to Nashville or Provo or Arkansas. 486 </p> 487 <p> 488 The secret is this: in all of these things, the deck is stacked in 489 our favor, the dealer is infinitely patient, and the player who stays in 490 the game (or comes back to it, even for the last hand) always wins. 491 </p> 492 </main> 493 <div id="footnotes"></div> 494 <footer></footer> 495 </div> 496 </body> 497 </html>