commit e2b385700c417e5d5b7cc7838355f8973f055679
parent 5a4b9d42e275e1afa3ab32dd7796748c637b89e5
Author: Beau <beau@beauhilton.com>
Date: Sat, 10 Aug 2024 13:03:20 -0500
add sacrament talk
Diffstat:
8 files changed, 957 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-)
diff --git a/build/atom.xml b/build/atom.xml
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
<feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xml:lang="en">
<id>https://beauhilton.com/atom.xml</id>
<title>beauhilton</title>
- <updated>2024-04-12T00:00:00+00:00</updated>
+ <updated>2024-05-09T00:00:00+00:00</updated>
<author>
<name>beau hilton</name>
<email>beau@beauhilton.com</email>
@@ -10,6 +10,18 @@
<generator uri="https://soupault.app" version="4.8.0">soupault</generator>
<subtitle>beau's website</subtitle>
<entry>
+ <id>https://beauhilton.com/posts/til-llm-colbertv2</id>
+ <title>Playing with ColBERTV2 Embeddings and Retrieval</title>
+ <updated>2024-05-09T00:00:00+00:00</updated>
+ <content type="html">
+ There are a lot of embedding models out there for LLMs.
+ ColbertV2 is a neat one.
+ Here are some thoughts and code examples.
+ </content>
+ <link href="https://beauhilton.com/posts/til-llm-colbertv2" rel="alternate"/>
+ </entry>
+
+ <entry>
<id>https://beauhilton.com/posts/choaked</id>
<title>The first detailed description of living with esophageal cancer -
John Casaubon’s 1690 diary</title>
diff --git a/build/church/2024-08-11-broken-heart-contrite/index.html b/build/church/2024-08-11-broken-heart-contrite/index.html
@@ -0,0 +1,497 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html lang="en">
+ <head>
+ <link rel="stylesheet" href="/style.css" type="text/css">
+ <meta charset="utf-8">
+ <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8">
+ <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
+ <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css">
+ <link rel="icon" href="data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns=%22http://www.w3.org/2000/svg%22 viewBox=%220 0 100 100%22><text y=%22.9em%22 font-size=%2290%22>🏕️</text></svg>">
+ <title></title>
+ </head>
+ <body>
+ <div id="page-wrapper">
+ <div id="header" role="banner">
+ <header class="banner">
+ <div id="banner-text">
+ <span class="banner-title"><a href="/">beauhilton</a></span>
+ </div>
+ </header>
+ <nav>
+ <a href="/about">about</a>
+<a href="/now">now</a>
+<a href="/thanks">thanks</a>
+<a href="/posts">posts</a>
+<a href="https://notes.beauhilton.com">notes</a>
+<a href="https://talks.beauhilton.com">talks</a>
+<a href="https://git.beauhilton.com">git</a>
+<a href="/contact">contact</a>
+<a href="/atom.xml">rss</a>
+ </nav>
+ </div>
+ <main>
+ <h1>
+ 2024-08-11 Sacrament meeting talk
+ </h1>
+ <h2>
+ Before the beginning
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ A long, long time ago, potentially in a galaxy far, far away, but
+maybe right here, who knows, two sons were discussing their plans for
+the kingdom with their father.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ One said,
+ </p>
+ <blockquote>
+ <p>
+ Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son and I will redeem all
+mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it;
+wherefore give me thine honor.
+ </p>
+ </blockquote>
+ <p>
+ The other was much less verbose:
+ </p>
+ <blockquote>
+ <p>
+ Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.
+ </p>
+ </blockquote>
+ <p>
+ (Moses 4: 1-2)
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ The meridian of time
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ Fast forward an indefinite amount of time. Things happened. The
+second one came to earth to live. This was a big deal.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of the night he came, much has been written. My favorite of these, a
+poem written just a few hundred years after the fact, goes a little
+something like this:
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ On the Night of the Nativity
+ </h3>
+ <blockquote>
+ <p>
+ Pure is the present night, in which the Pure One appeared, Who came
+to purify us.<br>
+Let our hearing be pure, and the sight of our eyes chaste, and the
+feeling of the heart holy, and the speech of the mouth sincere.<br>
+The present night is the night of reconciliation; therefore, let no one
+be wroth against his brother and offend him.<br>
+This night gave peace to the whole world, and so, let no one
+threaten.<br>
+This is the night of the Most Meek One; let no one be cruel.<br>
+This is the night of the Humble One; let no one be proud.<br>
+Now is the day of joy; let us not take revenge for offenses.<br>
+Now is the day of good will; let us not be harsh.<br>
+On this day of tranquility, let us not become agitated by anger.<br>
+Today God came unto sinners; let not the righteous exalt himself over
+sinners.<br>
+Today the Most Rich One became poor for our sake; let the rich man
+invite the poor to his table.<br>
+Today we received a gift which we did not ask for; let us bestow alms to
+those who cry out to us and beg.<br>
+The present day has opened the door of heaven to our prayers; let us
+also open our door to those who ask of us forgiveness.<br>
+Today the Godhead placed upon Himself the seal of humanity, and humanity
+has been adorned with the seal of the Godhead.
+ </p>
+ </blockquote>
+ <p>
+ St. Ephraim the Syrian, CE 306-373
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Luke 18: 10-43
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ The baby grew into a boy, then a man.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Sometime in his early 30s, he went around causing trouble.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Here are a few examples of the kinds of infuriating stories he told,
+all taken from a continuous chunk of a book written a few years
+back.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Sunday School
+President in a medium-sized ward in Hendersonville (Pharisee), and the
+other a tax collector (publican).
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 11 The Sunday School President (Pharisee) stood and prayed thus with
+himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are,
+extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector
+(publican).
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 13 And the tax collector (publican), standing afar off, would not
+lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast,
+saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than
+the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he
+that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 15 And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them:
+but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 16 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children
+to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of
+God.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 17 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of
+God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 18 And a certain Relief Society President (ruler) asked him, saying,
+Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 19 And Jesus said unto her (him), Why callest thou me good? none is
+good, save one, that is, God.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 20 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not
+kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy
+mother.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 21 And she (he) said, All these have I kept from my youth up.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 22 Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto her (him), Yet
+lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the
+poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 23 And when she (he) heard this, she (he) was very sorrowful: for she
+(he) was very rich.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 24 And when Jesus saw that she (he) was very sorrowful, he said, How
+hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 25 For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye, than
+for a rich woman (man) to enter into the kingdom of God.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 26 And they that heard it said, Who then can be saved?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 27 And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible
+with God.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 35 And it came to pass, that as he was come nigh unto Nashville
+(Jericho), a certain blind man sat by the way side begging:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 36 And hearing the multitude pass by, he asked what it meant.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 37 And they told him, that Jesus of Nazareth passeth by.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 38 And he cried, saying, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on
+me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 39 And they which went before rebuked him, that he should hold his
+peace: but he cried so much the more, Thou Son of David, have mercy on
+me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 40 And Jesus stood, and commanded him to be brought unto him: and
+when he was come near, he asked him,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 41 Saying, What wilt thou that I shall do unto thee? And he said,
+Lord, that I may receive my sight.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 42 And Jesus said unto him, Receive thy sight: thy faith hath saved
+thee.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ 43 And immediately he received his sight, and followed him,
+glorifying God: and all the people, when they saw it, gave praise unto
+God.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This is the same story over and over again, from slightly different
+angles. Make the main character overtly righteous, or rich, or
+pretentious (“Jesus - much too good for children”), or, on the other
+hand, make the main character of a hated profession, or poor, or (in
+other stories) a woman with a checkered past. A son with a grand plan
+and proud of it, a son who just wants to be helpful. All the same, from
+the beginning.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Shortly after telling these outrageous stories, and many others
+besides, he was killed. That’s quite the story too.
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Abbot Moses in the desert
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ A few hundred years later, not far from where he was buried and rose
+again, a bunch of grumpy dudes moved to the desert.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ One of them was named Moses and, much to his chagrin, the group of
+grumps decided to make him one of the bishops (abbot).
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Abbot Moses was asked to sit on a council to judge one of the monks
+who had committed a fault.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ “And taking with him a very old basket full of holes, he filled it
+with sand, and carried it with him. He said ‘My sins are running out
+behind me, and I do not see them, and today I come to judge the sins of
+another!’”
+ </p>
+ <ul>
+ <li>
+ Merton, Wisdom of the Desert
+ </li>
+ </ul>
+ <h2>
+ 1800-something
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ Fast forward nearly one or two thousand years (who’s keeping track
+anyway), and a fellow named Heber tells the following story:
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Heber J Grant and the devil
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ Some years ago a prominent man was excommunicated from the Church.
+He, years later, pleaded for baptism. President John Taylor referred the
+question of his baptism to the apostles, stating in a letter that if
+they unanimously consented to his baptism, he could be baptized, but
+that if there was one dissenting vote, he should not be admitted into
+the Church. As I remember the vote, it was five for baptism and seven
+against. A year or so later the question came up again and it was eight
+for baptism and four against. Later it came up again and it was ten for
+baptism and two against. Finally all of the Council of the Apostles,
+with the exception of your humble servant, consented that this man be
+baptized and I was then next to the junior member of the quorum.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Later I was in the office of the president and he said:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ “Heber, I understand that eleven of the apostles have consented to
+the baptism of Brother So and So,” naming the man, “and that you alone
+are standing out. How will you feel when you get on the other side and
+you find that this man has pleaded for baptism and you find that you
+have perhaps kept him out from entering in with those who have repented
+of their sins and received some reward?”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I said, “President John Taylor, I can look the Lord squarely in the
+eye, if he asks me that question, and tell him that I did that which I
+thought was for the best good of the kingdom. … I can tell the Lord that
+that man had disgraced this Church enough, and that I did not propose to
+let any such a man come back into the Church.”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ “Well,” said President Taylor, “my boy, that is all right, stay with
+your convictions, stay right with them.”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ …
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I left the president’s office. I went home. … I was reading the
+Doctrine and Covenants through for the third or fourth time
+systematically, and I had my bookmark in it, but as I picked it up,
+instead of opening where the bookmark was, it opened to:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is
+required to forgive all men; but he that forgiveth not his brother
+standeth condemned before the Lord.” [See D&C 64:9–10.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And I closed the book and said: “If the devil applies for baptism,
+and claims that he has repented, I will baptize him.” After lunch I
+returned to the office of President Taylor and I said, “President
+Taylor, I have had a change of heart. One hour ago I said, never while I
+live, did I expect to ever consent that Brother So and So should be
+baptized, but I have come to tell you he can be baptized, so far as I am
+concerned.”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ President Taylor had a habit, when he was particularly pleased, of
+sitting up and laughing and shaking his whole body, and he laughed and
+said, “My boy, the change is very sudden, very sudden. I want to ask you
+a question. How did you feel when you left here an hour ago? Did you
+feel like you wanted to hit that man right squarely between the eyes and
+knock him down?”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I said, “That is just the way I felt.”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He said, “How do you feel now?”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ “Well, to tell you the truth, President Taylor, I hope the Lord will
+forgive the sinner.”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He said, “You feel happy, don’t you, in comparison. You had the
+spirit of anger, you had the spirit of bitterness in your heart toward
+that man, because of his sin and because of the disgrace he had brought
+upon the Church. And now you have the spirit of forgiveness and you
+really feel happy, don’t you?”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And I said, “Yes I do; I felt mean and hateful and now I feel
+happy.”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ And he said: “Do you know why I wrote that letter?”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I said: “No, sir.”
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ “Well I wrote it, just so you and some of the younger members of the
+apostles would learn the lesson that forgiveness is in advance of
+justice, where there is repentance, and that to have in your heart the
+spirit of forgiveness and to eliminate from your hearts the spirit of
+hatred and bitterness, brings peace and joy; that the gospel of Jesus
+Christ brings joy, peace and happiness to every soul that lives it and
+follows its teachings.”
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Wrap up
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ I was asked to give a talk on what it means to have a broken heart
+and a contrite spirit, in what ways we are asked to sacrifice, and what
+I have consecrated to the Lord.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I’m not sure that I’ve consecrated nor sacrificed much. Camel am
+I.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ So, I figured I’d try to work out what the broken heart and contrite
+spirit stuff is about.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The best I way I know how to do that is to try and define the
+opposite - what’s the opposite of a broken heart?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It can’t be a merely intact heart, that’s not enough of an
+opposite.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ What about a hard heart?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ “The opposite of a broken heart is a hard heart.” That seems like a
+reasonable assertion.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Ok, then contrite spirit? What’s the opposite of that?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ What the heck does contrite mean?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Con - that usually means “with.” With “trite”? Huh?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Turns out that trite, in this word, comes from Proto-Indo-European
+“*tere-”, which means to crush, thresh, grind, that kind of thing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ So, to be “contrite” is to be ground down, worn out, crushed - and
+the opposite of that? Built up, high and mighty, not just intact but
+overly stacked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A hard heart, and pride, are the opposite of a broken heart and
+contrite spirit. That’s not hard to figure out, but I’m kinda dumb so it
+took me a while to get there.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I thought about the specific examples from the scriptures and
+other great writings, about these characteristics and their opposites,
+they are stories about superiority, missives about mollification.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the beginning, God chose not the son with the grand plan and
+eloquent speech, but the humble servant, willing to be molded into
+whatever was needed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Jesus’s anger wasn’t at the sinner, but at the proud - the Pharisee
+who thought himself better than the publican, the ruler who identified
+with his possessions, the disciples who thought children and blind
+beggars unworthy of Jesus’ attention.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Abbot Moses kept his heart clean by letting the sins run out the
+bottom.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Heber Grant’s heart was hard with judgment, yet the Lord softened his
+heart with forgiveness, demolishing Heber’s own pride and an imagined
+pride he was placing on the Church itself, and when his heart finally
+broke he immediately felt freedom and love.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Brothers and sisters, I don’t think that a broken heart and contrite
+spirit means we should be sad all the time, though going through sadness
+and remorse is certainly part of what softens the heard and grinds down
+the spirit and gets it ready. I think it means that we are malleable in
+the Lord’s hands, seeing ourselves as the least of these, and therefore
+above no task the Lord sets for us - whether that is letting go of our
+own plans, our own things, or our own sense of righteousness. The task
+he gives us might be forgiving someone, including ourselves - how often
+is the impossibility of self-forgiveness a symptom of thinking we know
+better than God, who can turn scarlet to wool and water to wine, or that
+we are special in our ability to be worse than everyone around us?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ These are not trivial - we might be tasked to forgive a monster
+(which is different than remaining subject to their monstrosity), to go
+somewhere we never wanted to go - including to the bishop’s office, to
+the law, to rehab, to Nashville or Provo or Arkansas.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The secret is this: in all of these things, the deck is stacked in
+our favor, the dealer is infinitely patient, and the player who stays in
+the game (or comes back to it, even for the last hand) always wins.
+ </p>
+ </main>
+ <div id="footnotes"></div>
+ <footer></footer>
+ </div>
+ </body>
+</html>
diff --git a/build/feed.xml b/build/feed.xml
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
<feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xml:lang="en">
<id>https://beauhilton.com/atom.xml</id>
<title>beauhilton</title>
- <updated>2024-04-12T00:00:00+00:00</updated>
+ <updated>2024-05-09T00:00:00+00:00</updated>
<author>
<name>beau hilton</name>
<email>beau@beauhilton.com</email>
@@ -10,6 +10,18 @@
<generator uri="https://soupault.app" version="4.8.0">soupault</generator>
<subtitle>beau's website</subtitle>
<entry>
+ <id>https://beauhilton.com/posts/til-llm-colbertv2</id>
+ <title>Playing with ColBERTV2 Embeddings and Retrieval</title>
+ <updated>2024-05-09T00:00:00+00:00</updated>
+ <content type="html">
+ There are a lot of embedding models out there for LLMs.
+ ColbertV2 is a neat one.
+ Here are some thoughts and code examples.
+ </content>
+ <link href="https://beauhilton.com/posts/til-llm-colbertv2" rel="alternate"/>
+ </entry>
+
+ <entry>
<id>https://beauhilton.com/posts/choaked</id>
<title>The first detailed description of living with esophageal cancer -
John Casaubon’s 1690 diary</title>
diff --git a/build/posts/index.html b/build/posts/index.html
@@ -39,6 +39,20 @@
<hr style="opacity:0.2; margin-top:2em">
<div id="posts-index">
<h2>
+ <a href="/posts/til-llm-colbertv2">Playing with ColBERTV2 Embeddings and Retrieval</a>
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ <strong>Last update:</strong> 2024-05-09.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There are a lot of embedding models out there for LLMs.
+ ColbertV2 is a neat one.
+ Here are some thoughts and code examples.
+ </p>
+ <a href="/posts/til-llm-colbertv2">Read more</a>
+ <hr style="opacity:0.2; margin-top: 3em">
+ <br>
+ <h2>
<a href="/posts/choaked">The first detailed description of living with esophageal cancer -
John Casaubon’s 1690 diary</a>
</h2>
diff --git a/build/posts/til-llm-colbertv2/index.html b/build/posts/til-llm-colbertv2/index.html
@@ -0,0 +1,74 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html lang="en">
+ <head>
+ <link rel="stylesheet" href="/style.css" type="text/css">
+ <meta charset="utf-8">
+ <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8">
+ <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
+ <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="/style.css">
+ <link rel="icon" href="data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns=%22http://www.w3.org/2000/svg%22 viewBox=%220 0 100 100%22><text y=%22.9em%22 font-size=%2290%22>🏕️</text></svg>">
+ <title></title>
+ </head>
+ <body>
+ <div id="page-wrapper">
+ <div id="header" role="banner">
+ <header class="banner">
+ <div id="banner-text">
+ <span class="banner-title"><a href="/">beauhilton</a></span>
+ </div>
+ </header>
+ <nav>
+ <a href="/about">about</a>
+<a href="/now">now</a>
+<a href="/thanks">thanks</a>
+<a class="nav-active" href="/posts">posts</a>
+<a href="https://notes.beauhilton.com">notes</a>
+<a href="https://talks.beauhilton.com">talks</a>
+<a href="https://git.beauhilton.com">git</a>
+<a href="/contact">contact</a>
+<a href="/atom.xml">rss</a>
+ </nav>
+ </div>
+ <main>
+ <h1>
+ Playing with ColBERTV2 Embeddings and Retrieval
+ </h1>
+ <p>
+ <time id="post-date">2024-05-09</time>
+ </p>
+ <p id="post-excerpt">
+ There are a lot of embedding models out there for LLMs.
+ ColbertV2 is a neat one.
+ Here are some thoughts and code examples.
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ ColbertV2
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ The way you shove data into any embedding model can make a
+difference, and ColBERT is no different. I started off just giving it an
+html file with the entirety of a website (<a href="https://www.vim-book.org/print_page/">vimbook’s print-site
+one-pager</a>). This had a bunch of junk that wasn’t needed, which
+occasionally affected the
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a href="https://sqlite-utils.datasette.io/en/stable/cli.html#id43">sqlite-utils
+insert-files</a> https://github.com/bclavie/RAGatouille
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Multiline script example:
+ </p>
+ <pre tabindex="0"><code class="language-sh"><span class="hl slc"># enable multilib - see link below</span>
+paru <span class="hl slc"># make sure things are up to date generally</span>
+paru <span class="hl kwb">-S</span> android<span class="hl kwb">-tools</span> android<span class="hl kwb">-sdk-build-tools</span> <span class="hl slc"># includes adb and other goodies</span>
+reboot
+</code></pre>
+ <p>
+ Image example: <img src="/images/ncmpcpp-mopidy-selector.png" alt="Source selection">
+ </p>
+ </main>
+ <div id="footnotes"></div>
+ <footer></footer>
+ </div>
+ </body>
+</html>
diff --git a/index.json b/index.json
@@ -1,5 +1,15 @@
[
{
+ "url": "/posts/til-llm-colbertv2",
+ "page_file": "site/posts/til-llm-colbertv2.md",
+ "nav_path": [
+ "posts"
+ ],
+ "excerpt": "There are a lot of embedding models out there for LLMs.\n ColbertV2 is a neat one.\n Here are some thoughts and code examples.",
+ "date": "2024-05-09",
+ "title": "Playing with ColBERTV2 Embeddings and Retrieval"
+ },
+ {
"url": "/posts/choaked",
"page_file": "site/posts/choaked.md",
"nav_path": [
diff --git a/site/church/2024-08-11-broken-heart-contrite.md b/site/church/2024-08-11-broken-heart-contrite.md
@@ -0,0 +1,303 @@
+# 2024-08-11 Sacrament meeting talk
+
+## Before the beginning
+
+A long, long time ago,
+potentially in a galaxy far, far away,
+but maybe right here, who knows,
+two sons were discussing their plans for the kingdom with their father.
+
+One said,
+>Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son and I will redeem all mankind,
+ that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it;
+ wherefore give me thine honor.
+
+The other was much less verbose:
+>Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.
+
+(Moses 4: 1-2)
+
+## The meridian of time
+
+Fast forward an indefinite amount of time.
+Things happened.
+The second one came to earth to live.
+This was a big deal.
+
+Of the night he came, much has been written.
+My favorite of these, a poem written just a few hundred years after the fact, goes a little something like this:
+
+### On the Night of the Nativity
+
+>Pure is the present night, in which the Pure One appeared, Who came to purify us.
+Let our hearing be pure, and the sight of our eyes chaste, and the feeling of the heart holy, and the speech of the mouth sincere.
+The present night is the night of reconciliation; therefore, let no one be wroth against his brother and offend him.
+This night gave peace to the whole world, and so, let no one threaten.
+This is the night of the Most Meek One; let no one be cruel.
+This is the night of the Humble One; let no one be proud.
+Now is the day of joy; let us not take revenge for offenses.
+Now is the day of good will; let us not be harsh.
+On this day of tranquility, let us not become agitated by anger.
+Today God came unto sinners; let not the righteous exalt himself over sinners.
+Today the Most Rich One became poor for our sake; let the rich man invite the poor to his table.
+Today we received a gift which we did not ask for; let us bestow alms to those who cry out to us and beg.
+The present day has opened the door of heaven to our prayers; let us also open our door to those who ask of us forgiveness.
+Today the Godhead placed upon Himself the seal of humanity, and humanity has been adorned with the seal of the Godhead.
+
+St. Ephraim the Syrian, CE 306-373
+
+## Luke 18: 10-43
+
+The baby grew into a boy, then a man.
+
+Sometime in his early 30s,
+he went around causing trouble.
+
+Here are a few examples of the kinds of infuriating stories he told,
+all taken from a continuous chunk of a book written a few years back.
+
+10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Sunday School President in a medium-sized ward in Hendersonville (Pharisee), and the other a tax collector (publican).
+
+11 The Sunday School President (Pharisee) stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector (publican).
+
+12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
+
+13 And the tax collector (publican), standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
+
+14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
+
+15 And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them.
+
+16 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
+
+17 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.
+
+18 And a certain Relief Society President (ruler) asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
+
+19 And Jesus said unto her (him), Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God.
+
+20 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.
+
+21 And she (he) said, All these have I kept from my youth up.
+
+22 Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto her (him), Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.
+
+23 And when she (he) heard this, she (he) was very sorrowful: for she (he) was very rich.
+
+24 And when Jesus saw that she (he) was very sorrowful, he said, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God!
+
+25 For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye, than for a rich woman (man) to enter into the kingdom of God.
+
+26 And they that heard it said, Who then can be saved?
+
+27 And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.
+
+35 And it came to pass, that as he was come nigh unto Nashville (Jericho), a certain blind man sat by the way side begging:
+
+36 And hearing the multitude pass by, he asked what it meant.
+
+37 And they told him, that Jesus of Nazareth passeth by.
+
+38 And he cried, saying, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.
+
+39 And they which went before rebuked him, that he should hold his peace: but he cried so much the more, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me.
+
+40 And Jesus stood, and commanded him to be brought unto him: and when he was come near, he asked him,
+
+41 Saying, What wilt thou that I shall do unto thee? And he said, Lord, that I may receive my sight.
+
+42 And Jesus said unto him, Receive thy sight: thy faith hath saved thee.
+
+43 And immediately he received his sight, and followed him, glorifying God: and all the people, when they saw it, gave praise unto God.
+
+
+This is the same story over and over again, from slightly different angles.
+Make the main character overtly righteous, or rich, or pretentious ("Jesus - much too good for children"),
+or, on the other hand,
+make the main character of a hated profession, or poor, or (in other stories) a woman with a checkered past.
+A son with a grand plan and proud of it, a son who just wants to be helpful.
+All the same, from the beginning.
+
+
+Shortly after telling these outrageous stories, and many others besides,
+he was killed.
+That's quite the story too.
+
+## Abbot Moses in the desert
+
+A few hundred years later,
+not far from where he was buried and rose again,
+a bunch of grumpy dudes moved to the desert.
+
+One of them was named Moses and, much to his chagrin,
+the group of grumps decided to make him one of the bishops (abbot).
+
+Abbot Moses was asked to sit on a council to judge one of the monks who had committed a fault.
+
+"And taking with him a very old basket full of holes, he filled it with sand, and carried it with him. He said 'My sins are running out behind me, and I do not see them, and today I come to judge the sins of another!'"
+
+- Merton, Wisdom of the Desert
+
+## 1800-something
+
+Fast forward nearly one or two thousand years (who's keeping track anyway),
+and a fellow named Heber tells the following story:
+
+## Heber J Grant and the devil
+
+Some years ago a prominent man was excommunicated from the Church.
+He, years later, pleaded for baptism.
+President John Taylor referred the question of his baptism to the apostles,
+stating in a letter that if they unanimously consented to his baptism,
+he could be baptized, but that if there was one dissenting vote, he should not be admitted into the Church.
+As I remember the vote, it was five for baptism and seven against.
+A year or so later the question came up again and it was eight for baptism and four against.
+Later it came up again and it was ten for baptism and two against.
+Finally all of the Council of the Apostles, with the exception of your humble servant, consented that this man be baptized and I was then next to the junior member of the quorum.
+
+Later I was in the office of the president and he said:
+
+“Heber, I understand that eleven of the apostles have consented to the baptism of Brother So and So,”
+naming the man, “and that you alone are standing out.
+How will you feel when you get on the other side
+and you find that this man has pleaded for baptism
+and you find that you have perhaps kept him out
+from entering in with those who have repented of their sins and received some reward?”
+
+I said, “President John Taylor,
+I can look the Lord squarely in the eye,
+if he asks me that question,
+and tell him that I did that which I thought was for the best good of the kingdom. ...
+I can tell the Lord that that man had disgraced this Church enough,
+and that I did not propose to let any such a man come back into the Church.”
+
+“Well,” said President Taylor, “my boy, that is all right,
+stay with your convictions, stay right with them.”
+
+...
+
+I left the president’s office. I went home. ... I was reading the Doctrine and Covenants through for the third or fourth time systematically, and I had my bookmark in it, but as I picked it up, instead of opening where the bookmark was, it opened to:
+
+“I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive,
+but of you it is required to forgive all men;
+but he that forgiveth not his brother standeth condemned before the Lord.” [See D&C 64:9–10.]
+
+And I closed the book and said: “If the devil applies for baptism, and claims that he has repented, I will baptize him.”
+After lunch I returned to the office of President Taylor and I said,
+“President Taylor, I have had a change of heart.
+One hour ago I said, never while I live,
+did I expect to ever consent that Brother So and So should be baptized,
+but I have come to tell you he can be baptized, so far as I am concerned.”
+
+President Taylor had a habit, when he was particularly pleased,
+of sitting up and laughing and shaking his whole body,
+and he laughed and said,
+“My boy, the change is very sudden, very sudden.
+I want to ask you a question.
+How did you feel when you left here an hour ago?
+Did you feel like you wanted to hit that man right squarely between the eyes and knock him down?”
+
+I said, “That is just the way I felt.”
+
+He said, “How do you feel now?”
+
+“Well, to tell you the truth, President Taylor,
+I hope the Lord will forgive the sinner.”
+
+He said, “You feel happy, don’t you, in comparison. You had the spirit of anger, you had the spirit of bitterness in your heart toward that man, because of his sin and because of the disgrace he had brought upon the Church. And now you have the spirit of forgiveness and you really feel happy, don’t you?”
+
+And I said, “Yes I do; I felt mean and hateful and now I feel happy.”
+
+And he said: “Do you know why I wrote that letter?”
+
+I said: “No, sir.”
+
+“Well I wrote it, just so you and some of the younger members of the apostles would learn the lesson that forgiveness is in advance of justice, where there is repentance, and that to have in your heart the spirit of forgiveness and to eliminate from your hearts the spirit of hatred and bitterness, brings peace and joy; that the gospel of Jesus Christ brings joy, peace and happiness to every soul that lives it and follows its teachings.”
+
+## Wrap up
+
+I was asked to give a talk on what it means to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit,
+in what ways we are asked to sacrifice,
+and what I have consecrated to the Lord.
+
+I'm not sure that I've consecrated nor sacrificed much. Camel am I.
+
+So, I figured I'd try to work out what the broken heart and contrite spirit stuff is about.
+
+The best I way I know how to do that is to try and define the opposite - what's the opposite of a broken heart?
+
+It can't be a merely intact heart, that's not enough of an opposite.
+
+What about a hard heart?
+
+"The opposite of a broken heart is a hard heart." That seems like a reasonable assertion.
+
+Ok, then contrite spirit? What's the opposite of that?
+
+What the heck does contrite mean?
+
+Con - that usually means "with." With "trite"? Huh?
+
+Turns out that trite, in this word, comes from Proto-Indo-European "*tere-",
+which means to crush, thresh, grind, that kind of thing.
+
+So, to be "contrite" is to be ground down, worn out, crushed - and the opposite of that?
+Built up, high and mighty, not just intact but overly stacked.
+
+A hard heart, and pride, are the opposite of a broken heart and contrite spirit.
+That's not hard to figure out, but I'm kinda dumb so it took me a while to get there.
+
+When I thought about the specific examples
+from the scriptures and other great writings,
+about these characteristics and their opposites,
+they are stories about superiority,
+missives about mollification.
+
+In the beginning,
+God chose not the son with the grand plan and eloquent speech,
+but the humble servant,
+willing to be molded into whatever was needed.
+
+Jesus's anger wasn't at the sinner, but at the proud -
+the Pharisee who thought himself better than the publican,
+the ruler who identified with his possessions,
+the disciples who thought children and blind beggars unworthy of Jesus' attention.
+
+Abbot Moses kept his heart clean by letting the sins run out the bottom.
+
+Heber Grant's heart was hard with judgment,
+yet the Lord softened his heart with forgiveness,
+demolishing Heber's own pride and an imagined pride he was placing on the Church itself,
+and when his heart finally broke he immediately felt freedom and love.
+
+Brothers and sisters,
+I don't think that a broken heart and contrite spirit means we should be sad all the time,
+though going through sadness and remorse is certainly
+part of what softens the heard and grinds down the spirit
+and gets it ready.
+I think it means that we are malleable in the Lord's hands,
+seeing ourselves as the least of these,
+and therefore above no task the Lord sets for us -
+whether that is
+letting go of our own plans,
+our own things,
+or our own sense of righteousness.
+The task he gives us might be forgiving someone,
+including ourselves -
+how often is the impossibility of self-forgiveness
+a symptom of thinking we know better than God,
+who can turn scarlet to wool and water to wine,
+or that we are special in our ability to be worse than everyone around us?
+
+These are not trivial -
+we might be tasked to forgive a monster (which is different than remaining subject to their monstrosity),
+to go somewhere we never wanted to go - including to the bishop's office, to the law, to rehab,
+to Nashville or Provo or Arkansas.
+
+The secret is this:
+in all of these things,
+the deck is stacked in our favor,
+the dealer is infinitely patient,
+and the player who stays in the game
+(or comes back to it, even for the last hand)
+always wins.
diff --git a/site/posts/til-llm-colbertv2.md b/site/posts/til-llm-colbertv2.md
@@ -0,0 +1,33 @@
+# Playing with ColBERTV2 Embeddings and Retrieval
+
+<time id="post-date">2024-05-09</time>
+
+<p id="post-excerpt">
+ There are a lot of embedding models out there for LLMs.
+ ColbertV2 is a neat one.
+ Here are some thoughts and code examples.
+</p>
+
+## ColbertV2
+
+The way you shove data into any embedding model can make a difference,
+and ColBERT is no different.
+I started off just giving it an html file
+with the entirety of a website ([vimbook's print-site one-pager](https://www.vim-book.org/print_page/)).
+This had a bunch of junk that wasn't needed,
+which occasionally affected the
+
+[sqlite-utils insert-files](https://sqlite-utils.datasette.io/en/stable/cli.html#id43)
+https://github.com/bclavie/RAGatouille
+
+Multiline script example:
+
+```sh
+# enable multilib - see link below
+paru # make sure things are up to date generally
+paru -S android-tools android-sdk-build-tools # includes adb and other goodies
+reboot
+```
+
+Image example: 
+
